When I learned my niece was getting married in New Orleans, I immediately started preparations -- by researching Louisiana bike routes. After all, I only had two states left to go in the Frizbo Fifty, Louisiana and Hawaii. As I was reading about levee-top trails along the Mississippi River, my laptop pinged me with an email alert. The subject was "A Wedding Request :)" and the from-address was the bride-to-be, Annie.
"SO, we were wondering if you would do us the honor of helping to MC our ceremony alongside my dad's best friend - Larry Baldwin. I know it is a bit of pressure but we are trying to keep things around 10 minutes -- very short and my mother would love to help write the copy. She would ensure everything went smoothly and made sense between you and Larry. We'd just need your wonderful delivery and presence," she continued.
My initial reaction was a combination of pride and dread. It was quite the compliment to be asked to officiate her wedding, but I felt a heavy obligation to come up with something special. I definitely was not going to let my sister ghost write my speech. I envisioned sharing some humorous antidotes. But I needed a hook. What could that be?
A couple summers earlier, I had met up with Annie and her then boyfriend, Derek, along with my sisters and their husbands in Anchorage. I had just wrapped up a Sierra Club Outing to Denali National Park and had been talked into showing my family around Alaska. We explored an abandoned gold mine, kayaked in the ice-cold azure waters of Eklutna Lake, and viewed tide-water glaciers calving in Prince William Sound.
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| Matt and Ellen kayaking on Eklutna Lake |
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| Steve |
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| Margaret |
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| Nice paddle synchronization! |
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| That's right we're baaad! |
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| Hangin' at the AirBnB |
My Alaskan highlight that year was a day hike with Annie and Derek in the Chugach Mountains. We hiked the Pioneer Ridge Trail, a tough 3,200 ft. straight-up climb. At the top of the ridge, we were rewarded with dramatic views of the Knik Glacier. On the way down, we spotted something in the undergrowth a few dozen yards off the the trail. It was brown and furry.
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| Annie and Derek on Pioneer Ridge |
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| Knik Glacier in the distance |
"Is that a bear? I'm not sure. It could be! Is it moving?"
In Alaska, as soon as you leave the city limits, you're in bear country. In fact, a local resident got lost for two days on the same trail after being charged by bears. She started her hike too late in the day and then compounded her mistake when she tried to take a short cut on the way back. Fortunately she was prepared with bear spray which she used to good effect during the bear encounter.
I got out my bear spray and started to move laterally around the bear to get a better look. Generally, it's not a good idea to approach a bear, but we couldn't descend without knowing what we were dealing with. I carefully approached until I could discern the "bear."
"Oh my god, it's a sleeping bag!" I shouted up the hill to Annie and Derek.
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| A bear or a sleeping bag? |
Despite our shared Alaskan adventures and at least one story about a "bear," I still needed a hook for the wedding speech. I arranged a call with Annie and Derek to get more color. They told stories, shared how they met, and mentioned that on the first date, Derek was yelled at by park security for letting his dog off the leash. "Oh, a dog criminal, eh?" I thought, "I have my hook," and went back to researching biking routes.
It turned out the New Orleans bike route decision was straightforward. Lauren and Jeff had joined us at an Airbnb on Prytania Street after a brutal multi-stop red-eye flight from Seattle. By Saturday morning, they were recovered and ready for a bike ride. The weather was lovely -- warm, sunny with little wind. As the Airbnb was just down the street from Audubon Park, we started our ride there.
Audubon is a gorgeous park with wide paved trails and stunning Black Oaks shading the park with their near-horizonal branches. We looped around the park turning south towards the zoo and then onto the levee trail, aka the Mississippi River Trail.
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| Audubon Park's Black Oaks |
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| Mississippi River Trail |
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| It's always a good time for a handstand! |
A Wedding Speech for Annie and Derek
Hello, I'm Uncle Pat.
My first memory of Annie was a family gathering at the Morton Arboretum. Annie was just a toddler. She could walk but only if she had something to hold on to. We lined up the cousins for a photo and persuaded my son Matt to hold Annie’s hand so she could stand up for the shot. After the picture, still holding Matt’s hand, Annie discovered she had the perfect mobility aid. The hand hold was just the right height and the apparatus seemed self-powered. So off she toddled to explore the arboretum with Matt in tow.
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| Glow from a New Orleans' sunset |
Poor Matt, who was just 8 months older, didn’t know what to do. He didn’t like being dragged around, but he knew if he let go she would fall. I still remember the look Matt gave me over his shoulder as if to say “Don’t just stand there laughing, rescue me from this pit bull.”
The first time I met Derek was some 26 years later. By this time Annie could walk unassisted. We were at Matt’s wedding reception. The Quast’s and I had been planning an expedition in Alaska and since Derek was invited on the trip, I introduced myself. Over the years I had become an unofficial adventure guide for my extended family. A year earlier, I led Steve, Ellen, Chris, Annie and my brother Thomas on a backpacking trip in the Grand Canyon. They had a great time, but suggested several times during the trip that I was trying to kill them.
As we talked about the Alaska trip, I joked, “Derek, I’ll figure out what will kill you and dial it back a notch.”
Derek stiffened, looked me in the eye and said, “Go for it.”
Yea, that was a bit awkward, but Derek proved to be a charming travel companion. The highlight of my trip was a hike with Annie and Derek in the Chugash Mountains where we were ambushed by a bear – or well actually -- we ambushed by an abandoned sleeping bag with a surprisingly realistic fur liner. Luckily we were ready with the bear spray. Trust me, that sleeping bag learned a lesson and I learned Derek and Annie made a wonderful team.
The first time Derek and Annie met, I discovered, was a daytime date at an Uptown dive bar called Les Bon Temps Roule. Laissez les bon temps rouler (pronounced "lay-say le bon tom roo-lay"), by the way, is a Marti Gras motto meaning "let the good times roll."
Derek was dog-sitting for some friends at the time so he brought the dog on the date. In fact, the dog, Barrington, is here tonight as the wedding’s dog-of-honor -- or should that be the wedding’s best dog? I looked it up on Brides.com and strangely I couldn’t find anything concerning wedding dog etiquette.
The bar was dog-friendly so Annie, Derek and Barrington enjoyed Bloody Marys, some beer and then after chatting for a while they went for a walk in Audubon Park.
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| A New Orleans Garden Wedding |
Then, according to Annie, and I quote:
‘Derek let Barrington off leash and we got yelled at by park security. We then parted ways. I texted my friends "I think I'm in love"’
Now some of you are wondering why did Annie fall so quickly for Derek. Was it his good looks? His charming wit? His adventurous spirit? I’m sure that all helped, but I have another theory. You have to realize that Annie comes from an infamous crime family – dog criminals that is -- and her father, Steve Quast, was the don of this dog crime family. Steve was a man who lived by his own rules and other people’s rules never applied to him or his pets. He was happy to explain this to anyone trying to bounce his dog from the local park. Steve was even known to sneak dogs into hotels hidden under a blanket on the luggage cart.
You see, it’s a slippery slope from dog owner to dog criminal. It starts with letting your dog off leash at the park. Next your dog’s swimming at the “no dogs allowed” beach. And before you know it, hotel security is asking if you have any pets in the room. “Of course not” you reply while two fury noses peek out of the crack in the door.
In my humble opinion, the seminal event in this courtship was when Derek let his dog off the leash demonstrating his world view that a dog’s wellbeing supersedes any municipal ordinance. That is truly the way to a girl’s heart.
So in honor of Barrington’s role in the courtship, I asked Barrington for some advice for the newlyweds. Here’s what he gave me (with some help from the Internet):
A Dog’s Guide to a Happy Marriage
- Appreciate the simple things ― a walk in the park, a pile of leaves, the smell of a dead squirrel.
- Support each other’s dreams ― even a pit bull sometimes needs a helping hand.
- Never pass up a chance to rub each other’s tummies.
- When your bestie comes home always run to greet them.
- Take naps, lots of naps ― preferably together and in the sun.
- Turn around three times before lying down and stretch before rising.
- Don’t hold a grudge when you are scolded ― run right back and make friends.
- Be present ― turn off your phone at the dog park.
- If someone is having a hard time, keep quiet, sit close by, and when they’re not looking ― lick their face.
- If you’re happy, wag your entire body. On big occasions, running around in a figure eight may be called for.
- Love unconditionally.
- Let the good times roll.
Smell you later,
Barrington.
Update: My laptop pinged me again with an email alert. The subject was "Happy Fat Tuesday from New Orleans (with some news to share!)".
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| Laissez les bon temps rouler! Baby Welch due late August 2023 <3 Love, Annie & Derek |
| State: | Louisiana |
| Date: | 2021-11-06 |
| Route: | 5536 Prytania St., Audubon Park and to Huey Long Bridge |
| Distance: | 15 miles |
